Interview with my dad on the subject of vigilante geriatrics

Is it just me, or are the baby boomer generation becoming increasingly hell bent on violence and crime the more decrepit and old they get? Every week local papers seem to run stories on some old codger beating, mugging, maiming, torturing or raping someone or something. Is it just that the baby boomers are all sick of working their asses off all their lives to bring up kids who are either tripping tits every weekend or playing World of Warcraft 24/7 until their eyes bleed. Or is it something altogether more sinister? Are we, in fact, on the very cusp of an epidemic of irate grey-haired Matlock watching vigilante’s that will stop at nothing to get the respect that they were entitled to “in the old days”?

Usher sounds like a Goat

Probably the best thing on the internet right now. Click the pic to get taken to the video.

Review: Linha de Passe

[Here's a review I did of the Brazilian film Linha De Passe for t5m]

Linha De Passe literally translates from Portuguese as “Line of Passage”, yet in Brazil it means so much more. In English, it is a phrase that would colloquially translate as a Brazilian kids game similar to keep-uppy (a game with a football where the aim is to juggle the ball without it touching the ground), and this is what we witness in an early scene, as a game of Linha De Passe between the four brothers and central characters of the film sets the scene for what is to come. This child-like game is an important metaphor for Walter Salles (the Brazilian director better known for The Motorcycle Dairies and the critically acclaimed Central Station), and it is one that emanates throughout the entire film. Salles film is set in a poverty-stricken and football-crazed area in Sao Paulo, and follows the tribulations of struggling single mother Cleuza (Sandra Corveloni) as she tries to keep her four sons – and herself for that matter – out of the dangerous and corrupt undercurrents that flow through the sprawling metropolis of Sao Paulo.

Peaches Geldof sucks

Yep, she sucks a whole bunch. Above is some proof. I would offer you more but I'm definitely too jetlagged to bother. This is probably sufficient. Oh, and watch her, like, shitty, like, dance at 11 seconds. Whore. [via Vice]

Yeasayer - "Ambling Alp"

New Yeasayer teaser for their upcoming album, Odd Blood. Video has it all: lnudity, dripping psychadelic face singing in the sky, a cloaked dude banging the shit out of a transparent drum, and a horse. 

I think I'm slowly falling in love with...Shakira

I have been trying really really hard to NOT like this song...but I can't. I have failed and the world must know: it's really really good and I really really like it. I think I'm slowly falling for the pint-sized-hip-swinging Columbian. I wonder if she likes cocaine? I bet she does. The video clip is kinda odd though, with her weird creepy-jaunty-dancy-thing going on and "those pants" that make my eyes twitch every time she buckles her leg akimbo in her little jail-cell. Lyrics suck too, but who cares, Shakira rules.

The Very Best collaborate with Kano and I go bowling with Morrissey

I awoke today to an intense feeling of morbid depression. Probably had something to do with the dream I had about going bowling with a young Morrissey. We both looked swell in our mint bowling shoes, but he really is a miserable fucker, and this dragged me down. So this morning I turned to The Very Best’s debut LP, Warm Heart of Africa. It’s a good, "happy" record. Only thing, it sounds exactly like their mixtape, which was free. I would feel ripped off, but I downloaded it. I'm an asshole. One of the highlights of the new album is a song called “Julia”. And now they’ve done a version with Kano. Kano's pretty shit and is in general an exceptionally below-par rapper, but this beat is so good he almost sounds bearable. Check out the "studio" footage and the "studio" potplants below.

Foals Interview

[This is an interview I did with Foals in Bristol with my friend Mark Higgins either late 2007 or early 2008; or perhaps some other time entirely, I don't really remember]

We walked into Foals’ cosy little band room atop the Carling Academy to find the band in what appeared to be a relatively relaxed mood. Yannis Philippakis, the lead singer, is comfortably slumped on a couch with a lead singers best friend, cough medicine, nestled close by his side, and a lead singers worst enemy, marijuana, lodged firmly between his fingers in the form of a joint. Edwin Congreave, who plays keyboards, is having the most fun, drawing in colourful texter on blank record covers of an EP of covers that Foals did with their Canadian tour-mates Holy Fuck. Apparently the proper record covers hadn’t come though in time, “so I’m just making something really disgusting because someone is actually going to buy this.” 

This band is a bit shit but I like this song for some reason

This band is called Rogues (worst fucking band-name ever), and they're really not that good. There are much better bands out there. Don't bother looking at their Myspace, this song is all they have to offer. I don't really know why I like it. The lyrics remind me of a Christina Aguilera ballad. Actually, maybe that's exactly why I like it. Remember how fit and crazy Xtina used to look, and she could actually kind of sing. Now she's all loutish and pregnant and getting out of taxi's without any panties on. Whore.

Introducing - O.Children

I heard that the lead singer of O.Children, Tobi O'Kandi, has the biggest willy in London. Impressive, no? This was found out by an ex-colleague of mine who had conducted a "totally legit" survey among a selection of morally questionably bevies that he'd reportedly slept with.

I actually had the pleasure of meeting the man behind the myth a few months ago, and I can tell you that (without actually witnessing any kind of proof) he looks every bit the part. By this, I mean that he is black and is tall. Really really fucking scarily tall. He also has big feet. All these attributes combined, I would imagine, means that you have one rather large willy.

And what does this have to do with anything? Nothing really. I'm just gossiping to be honest. It's something I do on occasion. Believe it or not, O.Children actually have plenty more to offer than quite possibly having the biggest willy in London among their ranks. They have successfully taken the "fun-to-dance-to-but-kind-of-morbid mantle" from the Horrors, who have since moved on to the greener pastures of krautrock. These things happen. Ebbs and flows.

Check out O.Children's debut single below.

Male-on-male blowjobs are no longer gay, apparently

[This is an interview I did for Vice with a professor that holds some interesting views]

Practically every football game nowadays is chock full of excessive incidents of man love – orgiastic celebrations, tender caresses, ass slaps and the passionate locking of lips. I recently heard some talking head gesticulating on daytime TV that this kind of thing in sport has meant that heterosexual men can now get away with loads of things that used to be termed “gay” back in the day.

Bangs "Take U to Da Movies"

This is my boy Bangs. He's an internet phenomenon and a superstar hip hop artist. He's going places. This is the best song I've heard all year. Perhaps ever. I don't feel complete if I don't listen to at least once a day. I really feel that Bangs is currently more relevant as a superstar hip hop artist than Kanye West. Bangs would never make a little girl with blonde hair cry on stage. He would probably take her to the movies and buy her popcorn instead.

I implore you to pause the video at 2:17. Actually here, I'll do it for you.

This is Bangs "reprezenting" face. I wouldn't fuck with a man with a face like that. Neither should you.

Also, check out his website. It's amazing. My boy Bangs really has it all.

Introducing - Eddy Current Suppression Ring

Ok, so maybe this isn’t exactly the best example of "introducing" a band. Eddy Current Suppression Ring already have two albums out, so I’m pretty sure a lot of you music-blog-savvy-types will have already heard of this Aussie band that are named after a copper ring around a transformer which subdues Eddy Currents. The fact is, I’m just going to blog about them some more anyway.

Hanging out on a boat with a Maccabee

[Here's an interview I did a while ago in Bristol with Hugo White of The Maccabees. It was published at t5m.com]

If upon arriving for my chat with The Maccabees I was told by a credible source that if I persisted on going through with the interview I would be putting my soul in grave danger of being possessed by a rabid set of demonic leprechauns, it would have been a risk that I would have been willing to take. Fuck it. Souls are there to be given up at some point.